Friday, December 31, 2010

...terribly at night

New city, no friends, no one.
Initially, I just wanted to pull out my hair and sob.
I'm that girl that never wants a second to her self.
I love people around.
The silence screams the truth.
The truth hurts, terribly at night.
But, I've come to love the abundant alone time.
I am actually looking forward to going back in a couple of days.
I enjoy my company a lot more now.
I basically go to classes, come back and sit in bed all day.
So, yay me!

I am 24 pounds away from perfection.
I lost 12 pounds this year.(Sept to Dec)
Actually lost more, but gained a bit back from all the holiday chowing.
So I am excited for 2011.
I'm going on a strict chicken and vegetables diet for January and February.
Wish me luck

"Eh breakups are hard, dating is stupid & love sucks"
That pretty much sums it up.
I am tired of dating the wrong men.
I am a giver.
I am nice.
I forgive AND forget.
All sumptuous ingredients for a recipe of disaster.
They just (want to) walk all over me.
So, I have decided like I've done many other times before, to not date.
This is hard.
I am always in a relationship, right from secondary school days.
I hate single, single sucks.
Maybe I am hiding from something.
I dont know.
But, I do know that I am too smart for this ish.
I shouldn't let these guys treat me like trash and let them back in.
But, I have said this many times before.
Honestly, i think a good f-buddy is what i need for now.
But then, for how long?

Co-op or phd?!
I could round up my masters program April 2011
or stay for co op and round up April 2012.
Will finally get the fucking experience, make good money, and basically just be great.
If I choose this option, then I plan on getting an MBA along the line. Part-time maybe.
But, I have always wanted to be a teacher.
So I thought I'd get a Phd and become a prof.
But, I think i'm too young to become a prof, soo boring.
And I already told my dad i wanted to get a phd, now, he is more excited about it than I am.
I dont want to disappoint him.
I've done that many times before.
I dont want to see that look on his face again.
Cant do both.
I will be too old with all the degrees and maybe lonely.