Wednesday, December 2, 2009


"Many people consider cheating to be any violation of the mutually agreed-upon rules or boundaries of a relationship, which may or may not include sexual monogamy."- Wikipedia
"Love is a strong liking for someone. It's a strong passionate affection for another person."
"Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things; believes all things; hopes all things; endures all things."

I know cheating is "bad" and "wrong" because I have grown up to believe so and because it hurts to be cheated on.
Wrong means "not according to rule". What rule?

I don't know exactly why cheating is wrong asides that it hurts...

Maybe cheating is wrong because it hurts the other party's feelings and if you love someone you are supposed to be conscious of the other person's feelings.
But then again, people that "cheat" don't intend for the other person's feeling to be hurt...'cause they hope and assume the person doesn't find out.

When I think of someone cheating on me;
I automatically think he doesn't love me
-Well maybe he doesn't, if he hasn't told me "I love you" then he did not exactly, why is he wrong for "cheating"?
-Maybe he does and he made it known. Guys don't get emotional gratification from having sex with another party, its the sexual gratification.

In an argument some guy said; A guy will love you and still cheat on you. I did not agree then, but I have always wondered about it.
I hate to use this example, xxx loves xxx, I'm absolutely sure of this. But he definitely "cheats" or has "cheated" during the course of their relationship.

I hate when people try to advice a girl in a relationship to get out of it solely because the guy is cheating. Yh i know, its "bad". Honey, your boyfriend is cheating too, you are just not sharp enough to know, or you guys have not dated long enough for him to start having the urge to feel the warmth of another girl's vajayjay. The next guy is most likely going to cheat too.

Hmn..maybe my thoughts are absolutely disorganized or I have bn in too many dysfunctional relationships...and I'm starting to accept the things I can not change.

I am not saying cheating should be allowed for whatever reason...just my train of thoughts at the moment. Tiger Woods issue really got me thinking.

I am not talking about just guys cheating..all my arguments applies to both sides. I think people cheat, men and women alike, when the opportunity arises.


Anonymous said...

you left me with no comments

leggy said...

lol, wa oh.

muyiwa said...

hahahah,a guy can love you and still cheat on you,thats correct,he is just trying to sample the outside world,you know

Gee said...

cheating is wrong!
so wrong infact!
lol..but yeah it depends on the scenario.
If u r in a committed rlationship, the keyword is committed---then that is the rule.
That its just u and him, no third party.
So when there is another girl or boy then it is cheating and it is wrong becuz the commitment rule has been broken-
so there u have it--it is wrong only when the rlationship has that rule of commitment--but if it doesnt, too bad for such heart that is been broken.LOl

Dazzle! said...

@Leggy: I know real wa
@Muyiwa: I dont know o..u tell me
@Gee: People dont actually say; We are in a "committed" relationship...or maybe be they do..

iOdutee said...

i have this argument all the time
i dont necessarily think its wrong -

against what are we comparing?
we need to know wat is right before we can decide wat is wrong

u feel me?

and for my religious pple on here...
before u attack me with sermon

who decided wats right?
assuming i am an atheist?

does that prevent me from being in a relationship?


i dont think any commitment rule is broken

as dazzle correctly put it

at the point where a guys sleeps with anoda girl,there is usually no form of emotional attachment - he is just satisfying himself at the time

he is still coming back to who he feels committed to - the whole point of coming back anyways

anybody feels me?

Gee said...

ofcuz they do--
or rather they should.
Pple should always define what they r and r getting into from the very on start---so there wont be confusion.

Gee said...

i totally dont agree with u femi ooo,
but then again dat might just be ur own mind set.
pretty much there should be a definition of ur relationship to know is any rule is been broken-
The definition should be able to set the rules.
if no definition===then no rule===then its the persons head/heart ache.

I just believe in a definition


LOL...twitter in the biulding!

Gee said...

who decide what is right??
oh femi i see u just want to yann..LOL
God made adam and eve o!
not adam, eve and eteve or another party---
God said we should be faithful in all--to him and also the pple arnd us

So there goes ur definition of decision of what is right---

trust me u dont want me to go deeper than that from the religious point of view, its a matter of sitting down nd tlking not as a comment

iOdutee said...

lool @gee

i agree with you

and i dont quite condone cheating - lets be clear

but does the fact that someone "cheated" automatically equate to him/her nt loving you?

i think not

...i just might blog about this

Anonymous said...

i just feel like....ok i wud give a scenerio to explain...

if i live in Toronto, and my boyfriend is in Vancouver, a long flight away..if he cheats there, il b hurt..but i did expect it a bit...
if he has a girlfriend number 2 on the other hand....that's cold because then im useless...i can save up that flight money for some shoes or something.
now, if i have a boyfriend in Toronto with me....and he cheats with Lucy next door, wot is his reason?.
obviously that kind of guy is not ready to commit, he cannot give me a scenario that would explain his actions, i'm probably a bus ride away....go to south America and screw a Mexican chick ..i promise not to be that but not in my zones....
but yea as a girl this is what i would do...
and wots evne ur definiton of cheating? it he had sex wit her?
or do we count making out *er thing except sex* as cheating?..i would like to call that cheating too...


Dazzle! said...

@Gee and @iodutee: I love that u guyz are arguing over this :D

@Anon: Ehm...I am not really trying to justify cheating...I m just saying maybe its not exactly wrong...Like you said, it hurts..that's about it.
Guyz still cheat even when they live with their spouse! I dont exactly understand it..maybe greed?